A Nation in a hurry...........to ?

You are at a traffic signal waiting for the signal to turn green...next to you bikes and autos and cars squeeze into every possible and available cm of space...slowly inching forward till they are almost across the road...

You are waiting in a queue at a multiplex and are being constantly pushed, jabbed from behind and then a someone slowly slides upto the ticket window and puts his hand in and wants to buy tickets without waiting in the queue...

You are waiting for a lift to visit someone and when the lift arrives everyone rushes in - pushing the people alighting from the lift back in or pulling them roughly outside...

You surely must have noticed the fear in the eyes of those travelers who have to get down at last station of a suburban journey - the fear of being smashed into and thrown back into the train as people simply jump in without any consideration for the alighting passengers...

You buy coupons at a self service restaurant or outlet and go and wait to pick up your stuff, only to notice that people simply barge in and literally shove the receipts into the face of the person on the other side of the counter...

You also must have noticed people run across busy roads in spite of safer avenues like FOB's that are available to cross these busy roads...

You must have noticed people cross railway tracks playing with danger instead of using FOB's.... 

When traffic just stops for a few seconds, bikers simply go the wrong side of the road and drive against the oncoming traffic or they drive on the pavements...

Simply put - Sabko Jaldi hai. We are in a hurry, is the standard response I have got whenever I have tried questioning people.

In a hurry to where ? To grab the PM's seat ?  

We look like we are a Nation in a hurry........to where ?????

I Object - Mr Naseem Khan

I read these article - http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/Mumbai/State-mulls-elevated-road-on-Sion-Mulund-LBS-Road/Article1-766636.aspx and this was reported in the TOI too here - http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2011-11-09/mumbai/30377141_1_religious-structures-metro-project-mumbai-metro

Mr Naseem Khan, the guardian minister for Mumbai has made this outrageous and most stupid demand of building an elevated road over the LBS road from Sion to Mulund.

I would like to ask the minister whether he has really been to LBS road to study / watch the hurdles and then decided that an elevated road is the best solution ?

I OBJECT !

I agree that the road is congested and there is hardly place for people to move alongwith the various vehicles plying on the road from morning to night.

A few simple steps will solve a lot of big problems on that road -

1) Get rid of the hawkers on the pavements.

2) Build smooth pavements for people to walk on (no hawkers , no potholes)

3) Fence in the pavement so that people do not spill onto the road.

4) Make FOB's / zebra crossings for people to cross. If they do not use it - and prefer crossing the roads while jay walking, make it clear to them that in case of an accident, the vehicle owner is not responsible.

5) For old people, give them the facility of elevators / lifts on the FOB's.

6) Remove all the auto rickshaw and taxi stands from the LBS road. Shift them to by-lanes.

7) Remove and destroy the illegal extensions of shops that spill over to the footpath / roads.

8) Get the BEST bus drivers to stop at the designated bus stop and not in the middle of the lane.

9) People should also behave like humans and not animals when boarding and alighting the buses. Haven't they heard of a queue system ?

10 ) All the auto rickshaw and taxi stands near the railway stations should have dedicated stands. Any taxi or rickshaw operating out of that should be fined or the vehicle confiscated.

11) Ensure that the traffic cops work to improve the traffic flow and not the money flow to their pockets.

12) If possible, try and synchronise signals to ease traffic pile-up.

13) Ensure that only the authorised / valid auto rickshaw and taxis are allowed to ply.

14) Instill some pride in your work force (BMC, Traffic police, BEST, auto rickshaw drivers, taxi drivers) to work for the betterment of the community - after all it will be beneficial for them too.

These small changes will give you big benefits with a very small amount of people taxes used for these.

Do you have the inclination to do this, Mr Minister ?
Are you ready to let go of the kick backs that you will receive from the elevated road project ?
Are you ready to take the action against the auto rickshaw and taxi drivers who consist of the majority vote bank of your area, Chandivali ?
Are you ready to give in writing under oath that you will ensure the completion of the project in the stipulated time ?
Will you make sure that motorists and people traveling on LBS road during the elevated road construction will not at all be troubled by the construction ?

If you are serious about taking care of this city, I suggest you start with your area.

1) A 50 meter stretch of Nahar Amrit Shakti road is left for concretising for the last 2 years ? can you explain the delay ?? Every morning, there are jams and frustrated people going to work from that junction - what are doing about that ?

2) The ROB to be built over the tracks at Kanjur Marg (on JVLR) is lying incomplete for the last 7 years - why don't you ensure that it is completed in record time - saving a lot of frustration for people traveling on that road morning and evening ?

3) The Auto rickshaw drivers in Chandivali are rude and refuse to ferry passengers for short distances even with tampered meters - what are you doing about this ?

Movie Review - Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

Another movie from the Excel Entertainment team. This time directed by Zoya Akhtar.

Since the time the promos of ZNMD have hit the air, it has been comapred to Farhan Akhtar's DCH. The feel, the look, the male bonding.....this time it was being directed by a woman. I was intrigued - what would it be like ? Another road trip / romance ? Something more maybe ?

Put your doubts to rest - the movie has a feel like DCH but it's not a copy of DCH. It's a mature DCH I say !

The movie is about a road trip that 3 friends undertake before one of them gets married, so it turns out to be his bachelor's party as well. So they head to Spain and start their journey. But there are issues to be sorted on the way. emotions to be unloaded, to be felt, to be experienced, life changing moments, love and men being boys - some really great male bonding and sillyness !

They encounter a few people on their journey who are instrumental in bringing about a change in the 3 distinct characters that they are.

Performances are great - the boys really bond well (Hrithik, Farhan and Abhay) and have loads of fun. Katrina looks like a million bucks and Kalki is good but wasted in a role like this. Abhay Deol walks away with the honours in the acting department while Farhan shows a lot of improvement in the acting department, the way he plays his character and Hrithik is good as usual.

The music is good - more so when watched with the movie progressing. The Tomatina festival song is really good.

The dialogues are funny, not in your face funny but subtle and the male bonding scenes will have you wanting to go silly with your best buds.

The direction is very assured and Spain makes for some very pretty locales and scenes.

Verdict - 3/5. It's a one time watch for sure.

The cons -

I felt the movie was a bit too long, could be trimmed by 20 minutes.

I feel it won't really connect with all the audience but the multiplex audience would surely lap it up.

The life changing moments do not really come across very cleanly - Hrithik's one being the main culprit. (The sky diving sequence is longer and the best - you really want to jump off into thin air and feel free)

Other than that all well.

Another "QUEUE" tale

Yesterday afternoon I walk into HDFC bank in Powai, filled up the pay in slip for cash deposit and went and stood in a queue. There are 3 counters out of which 1 was closed, 1 was handling the cheque deposits only (God only knows why only cheques !) and the 3rd was shut. There were about 10-12 people in the queue.

Now a HDFC bank employee comes and announces that the closed counter is now open and cash deposits can be done here too...a couple of people hear him (including yours truly) and we form a queue at that counter which puts me in 2nd place in the queue.....now the fun starts.

A guy from the previous queue comes and asks the guy in front of me if cash deposits can be made in this queue and on receiving an positive reply....he tells the fellow that he will stand behind him !

I got pissed...and here is the conversation between us,

Me - Hello ? What are you doing ?

Him - I was standing behind him in the earlier queue !

Me - So that gives you the authority to be behind him wherever he goes ? I guess you should be at the end of this queue.

Him - Then I will have to go the previous queue or go to the end of this one.

Me - Yes Einstien, now move !

I mean what kind of chuts are these people ?? I mean the whole country now thinks it can get away with anything or what ? No civic sense at all !!

Movie Review - Delhi Belly

The promos for this movie threw everyone into a tizzy - Bhaag DK Bose rocked the Indian youth and grabbed the nation by it's balls. The movie was being discussed everywhere - good or bad - did not matter. It promised a few laughs and we all were waiting for it to release. It did release this Friday.

The movie is about 3 room-mates and friends , 2 of them who work to-gather, one as a Journalist and the other as his Photographer while the 3rd guy works in an ad agency. The Journalist has a girl friend to whom he is getting married but she is involved in some dangerous activities although unknowingly......how this activity of hers takes these 3 guys through hell and high water and what fate awaits them...is what the movie is all about.

There are a few more characters in the mix - the landlord, the gangster and his cronies, the cops which add up to pretty interesting bunch.

The script is zany and funny and quick. It's pretty solid how things join in at the end....and trust me the dialogues are a riot. The direction and editing add to the fun factor without making the movie tiresome.

The performances are first rate - everyone has done a fab job in the roles assigned to them. The 3 guys Imraan, Vir and Kunaal are very good - the girls fit in well and the odd assortment of other whacky characters are in super form too.

The language of the movie - the dialogues is what will divide the opinion amongst the movie watching junta. The movie is released in 2 versions - Hinglish and Hindi. I happened to watch the Hindi version, which is a dubbed version. The dialogues were as normal as we talk in real life ....a conversation between 3 great buddies is sure to be peppered with words like gandu, bhenchot, gand...et al - and that's the way it is in the movie. No beeps, no cuts - just the way it is. I like.

A lot of people are going to be pissed off with the censors allowing this kind of language for a movie that is aimed squarely at the youth but then those people either live in a bubble or do not want to acknowledge that the youth speak this way. It's their loss

Verdict - 4.5/5 - A full on comedy that grabs your balls and doesn't let go until they are squeezed dry ! :)

Things you will like about the movie -

1) 90 minutes long and no intervals

2) Great Acting, zany screenplay and nifty editing.

3) The language and dialogues.

Things I did not like in the movie -

1) Inspite of working and being pretty well off - the 3 guys live in a real run down home, wonder why ?

2) The Aamir Khan number at the end - people seemed to love this . I hated this - why not have the Bhaag DK Bose video that was specially shot ?? Aamir seems to have gone the SRK way - a BIG thumbs down from me.

The censors have taken a big risk in letting this movie through without cuts - will it start a trend ? Will Bollywood grow out of it's nice clean image that it potrays ? Who the fuck cares ?

For now - Bhaag Bose DK - jaa Delhi Belly dekh aur mast reh.

Miss Perfect Woman » Ekta Khosla

Miss Perfect Woman » Ekta Khosla

Check this out guys ! :)

Super fun times - Team BHP meets

Friends and fun go hand in hand

Hyd to Mum in the vRS

A short edited video of the fun me and Chetan had in the Octavia vRS on our way back from Hyderabad after attending Srikant's wedding

Movie Review - Chalo Dilli

Another small budget movie that was being marketed well everywhere - but the cast of Vinay Pathak and Lara Dutta as lead actors was a factor in the delay to watch the movie.

The movie is all about a cleanliness and hygine freak investment banker from Mumbai (Lara Dutta) and a middle class shop keeper ( Vinay Pathak) from Karol Bagh in New Delhi. Both are on the same flight to Delhi - and Vinay manages to piss off Lara even before he has spoken a word to her.

Then as usual - due to circumstances the flight lands at Jaipur instead of Delhi and Lara is forced to take a cab to Delhi - with a twist of fate, Vinay lands up in the same cab and thus begins their journey.

It's a road movie and you will find glimpses of many movies in this one. The fact that it keeps going and keeps you interested right till the end is a tribute to the writing and the screenplay. And the perfect chemistry between the 2 lead actors.

Lara Dutta has prefectly cast herself as the cleanliness freak and she is in good form too and looks like a million bucks too ;)

Vinay Pathak's character will give you a sense of Deja-Vu when he first appears - you will feel like he is playing his "Bheja Fry" character but you soon get into the groove with him and he shines in this role.

The other supporting cast is also very good.

Thankfully no songs keeps the movie crisp till the very end.

Verdict - 3.75/5 - Highly recommended.

Movie Review - Dum Maro Dum

Another movie that came in with a lot of hype and promotions. Was it worth it ? Yes and No.

The movie is set in Goa and how drugs are taking over the place, a tough cop is called in to clean up the mess. How he goes about doing it - against all odds is what the movie is all about. The script is ok - a couple of twists are nice and save the movie from going the predictable way.

Performances - Ab jr plays the cop again - a corrupt turned honest cop. Though he looks like a cop, he can't carry off the role completely because of his physique and body language and add to the persona the cop starts rapping when the action just starts !

Bipasha Basu is wasted in a small role - she plays a moll to Aditya Panscholi's villian who does a good job but he has been doing this a lot in his career.

Pratiek has a voice thats squeaky and doesn't get him any brownie points but in the context of the movie it works nicely.

Rana Dugubatti makes his debut in Bollywood and it shows - he looks nervous in places and his dialogue delivery isn't the best.

The music is just about tolerable which is a bad thing since the premise had a lot of potential to give us some nice music but Pritam fails here. The Dum Maro Dum song actually looks much much better on screen than on TV but with the kind of lyrics it has - the original song has been murdered.

The actual star of the movie is the cinematographer - the movie is shot beautifully totally making Goa look the way it is - super stuff.

Verdict - 2.5/5. You could watch it one time.

Moral policing

I was chilling with friends outside Gloria coffee in Powai and there was this frisky couple on the seat next to ours . They seemed to be in love or lust - I dont know but a middle aged punjabi woman got pissed off big time.

She started shouting at the girl - chumma chatti kar rahi hai, sharam nahi aati - the couple separated but the lady saved her best for last. Continuing with her rant she said - ghar jaake karo - and quite a few people collapsed in laughter.

But it makes me wonder why she reacted in that manner ? Any pointers people?

SHAADI.COM Tv commercial

My sweetiepie in the ad. :)

LUND caught in compromising position

That should have been the headline of this report !

With all due respect to the the guy and his name - you can't miss the irony in his name.

Mall guards booked for beating up 'indecent' duo - The Times of India

Movie Review - No One Killed Jessica

A movie based on a true incident - killing of a model by a politico's son high on power and money muscle. The murderer almost gets away but public outcry against the verdict aided by intense media pressure and speculation gets justice for the model's family.

The movie has 2 powerful lady actors in Rani Mukherjee and Vidya Balan - comparisions are bound to be made.

Rani plays the fiesty reporter who gets behind the story and sting operations leading to the public out cry against the verdict. Its an author backed role which will get the ceetes and claps and it does. But as a performance I don't think this is her best. She gets to mouth gaalis galore which reminds me of her senseless and useless movies with Bobby Deol where she played the same characters.

Vidya Balan was expected to come out trumps given the character she was playing - the sister of the murdered model - who fights for justice. But her body language was too droopy and one dimensional to give any strength to the character.

Rest of the cast is ok - the mother of the muderer son is gratingly irritating. Characters of the main witness and the owner of the place where the murder take place --- if they actually did what was shown in the movie , they are wimps.

Music is too loud and noisy - ditto with the back ground score.

Editing could have been tighter which would have improved the thriller feel of the movie.

Verdict - 2.5/5. An over hyped movie that isn't really that good.

Saurav Ganguly and the IPL auction

Saurav Ganguly aka Dada was ignored by the 10 franchises who were bidding in the IPL auctions last week. This has apparently caused a lot of heart burn in Kolkatta.

There could be several reasons for Dada going unsold at the auction.

1) He has not played any competitive cricket since the IPL last year.

2) He isn't exactly young and sprightly.

3) Even when he was young, he was not sprightly

4) A lousy fielder

5) A batsman who doesn't like running singles

6) A head strong captain who apparently doesn't see eye to eye with coaches who do not see his point of view

7) A cricketer who abhors training

8) Not a team man if not in-charge

9) Doubtful man management - those who say he managed Yuvraj, Bhajji and the likes in their early stages - also ought to look at the scenario where these guys were starting off in international cricket and would not want to piss the captain off. Let him try and manage Yuvi and Bhajji in today's times.

10) The management didn't want to spend money on a spent force.

But then how the hell did VVS get selected ????? What was thought of the bidders who bought him ?